Sunday, October 10, 2010

Why I Hate Spirit Airlines

Dear Spirit Airlines,

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways!
Last weekend, my husband and I trekked to Miami Beach and we made the consummate mistake of flying Spirit Airlines. Biggest problem: apparently, knees are optional! If you are taller than 5 feet, you will wonder where you are supposed to stow your knees on their airplanes, which seem to hark back to darker days when our ancestors travelled in stowage to America. If you had a magazine in the pouch in front of you, you no longer had room for your knees. Because the space allowed is 3 inches maximum.

As if the space issue is not heinous enough to turn one away from this wretched airline, add to that the charges for tea, coffee, soft drinks, reserved seats, and carry on bags.
This leads to the inevitable person-on-a-budget-making-unwise-spatial-decisions syndrome.

A very fat young lady stuffed all her belongings into a back pack and proceeded to stuff it under the seat in front of her. She was avoiding the $35 charge to carry on a bag in the overhead compartment. My sad luck: she was my seat mate. Consequence: I had to leave the aisle briefly in order for her to shove it with all of her might into the tiny space. Then, she parked her foot and leg in my foot space. Now, I am not normally a irritable person, but this made me want to accidentally kick her. Of course, I did not actually do so, but the temptation grew stronger with every minute. In the privacy of my own mind, I formulated plans to drop an anvil accidentally on her foot. Slight problem: I had no anvil, and if I did, there would have been an anvil-dropping charge imposed by Spirit.
Then the lady in front of her got really angry as the backpack girl pushed her voluminous body into the seat ahead of her in order to retrieve the MP3 she dropped on the floor in front of her. This sort of thing went on for 2.5 hours...

Smells like Bad Spirit...not teen spirit. I. 
Never again. 
US Airways is looking better... as would Rat and Bedbug Air.
Original denizens of Miami

Veteran of the airways

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