Dear Beloved Fellow Irishmen,
Everybody is Irish on St. Patrick's Day, or wish they were. In my case, I really am: Irish from both sides.
I would like to salute all Irish characteristics, including, but not limited to:
1. Drinking to excess.
2. Having a bulbous nose that is reddish.(think Tip O'Neill)
3. Thick hair.
4. A love of spinning long tales of yore.
5. A certain closeness to one's family that defies the usual standards of American aloofness. (Think Kennedys)
6. Excessive love for the songs Danny Boy and When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.
7. Pugnaciousness. (Think Notre Dame calling itself the Fighting Irish)
8. Weird fondness for the color green. (duh!)
9. Seriously into potatoes.(Think Spuds MacKenzie)
10. A sense of blarney. (Think me!)
Who fits into all of the above? Alec Baldwin!!!! Not Charlie Sheen. We don't claim him. Never did.
Love,
Patio Furniture, aka, your imaginary friend
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