Roaches Guarding the Gate

Dear Imaginary Friends,

When I was just a young thing, it never occurred to me to sneak out of my parents' house at night.

Hey, it was dark out there! But more than that, there was an army of mosquitoes ready to bite, not to mention a hoard of roaches underfoot, as well as the flying ones.

Did I mention that flying roaches can be over three inches long? Moreover, roaches like to come out at night. I guess they are shy. Or maybe vampires.

Sometimes when I was on a date, leaving a nightspot late at night, it would seem as if I were walking on potato chips, as the crunch of roaches scurrying about performing their nightly duties, interrupted the purchase of my steps on the dark damp paved sidewalks of my dear beloved New Orleans.

So what are roaches' nightly duties, I hear you asking? Well, to scare all the teenagers into staying in their bedrooms, with covers up to their chins. Very effective, I might add!

Roaches are not particular to New Orleans, at all. There are named gangs of roaches living in New York City, for example. I was lucky enough to sublet an apartment on Fifth Avenue (I Know!) and lo and behold, when I had the misfortune to turn on the lights suddenly at 1 am, the roaches could be seen swarming the sink, the stove, etc. There were impossible to exterminate, because they moved in the walls between apartments, to lull you into a false sense of security. Humph. I showed them: I moved back to New Orleans!

Where roaches are upfront and friendly.

Busted by roaches,

Patsie

The Russians: Are They Coming?

Washington, DC is very cosmopolitan, but one ethnic group I rarely encounter is Russians. Now I know where they have been hiding! They are all staying at or working at the Washington Square Hotel!

Perhaps a name change is in order. Something like "Little Moscow on the Square."

Alone and Afraid

I can relate to anyone moving across the country to pursue a dream. I was 22, fresh out of college, when I moved alone from New Orleans to New York. Not only had I never been there before, but I did not own warm clothes. I only weighed 100 pounds, and Pratt Institute was in a bad neighborhood.

But I hate to change my mind once I have announced that I am doing something. Maybe it is sheer stubbornness, but I hate to look afraid or even wishy washy. The day of my flight, I felt so ill from a bad case of nerves, I could hardly walk. I was moving up with three suitcases, laden with clothes for warm weather from New Orleans and a bunch of art supplies. 

I have never felt so alone in my life. I did not know a soul in New York City.

Looking back, it was the best choice I ever made for my career.

Your Imaginary Friend,
Patsie

Donald Trump: All Too Ubiquitous and Ambitious

The front door of Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue

Dear Imaginary Friends,

There is no way that one can avoid Donald Trump and his buildings in New York City. He has a building on Fifth Avenue near Rockefeller Center, and one across from the United Nations, just two of the places we were visiting. I believe there is another one right by the Central Park, as well as several others. What's a tourist to do?

The time I visited New York with my friend Joan, we actually ran into him inside this very building. He was riding the escalator inside waving to the tourists like he was some kind of King of the Realm. Which he would certainly be if he ever won the Presidency. People, can we please not ever let that happen? 

Thank you; I feel better having solicited your help in this matter of grave importance.

Your Imaginary Friend,

Patsie