Germany, Gesundheit!

Dear Imaginary Friends,

My adorable husband and I just returned from a very illuminating trip to Germany and Prague.

Germans sure do have their quirks. I will attempt to convey the highlights over the next ten or so blog entries.

The Diet Might Just Kill You

There are three kinds of vegetables in Germany. And two of them are cabbage! And one of them is potatoes.

The meats they serve are pork and pork. They do love their pork in Germany! But they eschew corn, which is basically fed to pigs. So I guess they are actually eating corn, by the transitive property of a +b = c. C being Spackle.

All the menu items appeared to contain Spackle. Der Wienerschnitzel? Spackle and pork, deep fried!

There were creepy sausages like blood sausage, which oozed red when you cut into it. Hey, I can just bite my tongue and get the same effect. The Germans like to use every last part of the pig. It is best to avoid the wurst, because you don't know which wurst is worse.

Koblenz, Cleaner Than the Queen's Hanky

The courthouse in charming Koblenz is decorated with the face of a man, who was hanged for murder. To the end, he claimed that he was innocent, and when he was hanged, he stuck out his big red tongue. For some unknown reason, the Germans memorialized him on the front wall of the court house. The above photo is the bas relief of his face. What makes this extra special is that the eyes go back and forth constantly, like a metronome, to convey his saying, "No, Achtung, I am sure I did not kill anyone!!"

This is your one-of-a-kind decoration that leaves you scratching your head, but chuckling, too. Creepy and funny at the same time.

Koblenz was adorable, and possibly the cleanest little town I have ever visited,. Even the air was shiny. Those Germans know their cleaning materials.  All the buildings had been fully restored. Everywhere you turned, window boxes of geraniums brought cheer. The town was hosting a national, or even international flower show, similar to the one in London called the Chelsea Flower Show. It was called Bundflowerconventionheimerstadt, or something just like that. It featured very creative displays that made my head expand with possibilities. It actually exceeded the artiness of the Annual Philadelphia Flower Show, and that is saying something.

And there were no visible Nazis. Always a plus! Germany is so orderly and the people are such great engineers. I respect their products. Especially the ingeniousness and humor of their Glockenspiels!

Your Imaginary Friend,

Patsie