Friday, January 7, 2011

Ask Carolyn Snacks


Dear Carolyn,
How is it that you feel qualified to answer everyone's questions about relationships? Who died and made you God?
Dear Dubious in Detroit,
Actually, I have a mystical snail, and I read his slug lines to get the answers. Also, did you know that I invented gravy?

Dear Carolyn,
My pet gorilla is overweight. Should I take away his bananas?
Dear Wildlife Safari,
Only if you have good health insurance.

Have you ever wanted to write an advice column and be published? I have! When I was a little girl, I really envied Ann Landers. I thought -- what a great job, bossing people around all the time! And look what technology has wrought: Blogger, where everyone can dispense whatever nonsensical advice they want.
Awesome!

Your Imaginary Advice Columnist,
Patsie



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