Dear Carolyn,
How is it that you feel qualified to answer everyone's questions about relationships? Who died and made you God?
Dear Dubious in Detroit,
Actually, I have a mystical snail, and I read his slug lines to get the answers. Also, did you know that I invented gravy?
Dear Carolyn,
My pet gorilla is overweight. Should I take away his bananas?
Dear Wildlife Safari,
Only if you have good health insurance.
Have you ever wanted to write an advice column and be published? I have! When I was a little girl, I really envied Ann Landers. I thought -- what a great job, bossing people around all the time! And look what technology has wrought: Blogger, where everyone can dispense whatever nonsensical advice they want.
Awesome!
Your Imaginary Advice Columnist,
Patsie
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