Last April, We Took a One Week Cruise That Lasted 2 Weeks.

Pont d'Avignon, Oil, 2010, for sale by Patricia Uchello

Dear Imaginary Friends,

Carlo and I  returned last May from a river boat tour abroad. Uniworld was our home away from home, and they treated us like family. Not just any family, but family that they really liked! The staff was all Hungarian, French, and Dutch. There was one jerk whom everyone learned to avoid. He was, of course, the one waiter from Bulgaria. It figures.

The ship was really pretty! And the service was quite perfect. The joys of travel!

Wow, what an exciting adventure we had. It was most excellent.

Here are the bullet points:

Landed in Lyon. Toured Lyon 3 times, 3 different days. Thanks, Volcano.
Enjoyed the fabulous restaurant owned by Paul Bocuse, Le Sud, in Lyon.
Boarded the River Royale on the River Rhone in Lyon, headed north on the River Saone.
Landed in Chalons sur Saone. Took a bus trip to Beaune. Saw buildings from 12th century.
Visited vineyards everywhere we went. Ooh la la! Visited a chocolate factory store. MMM.
Got a French coiffure.
Ate delicious meals on the boat, three times a day. Free wine, all you can drink; thank you, Uniworld!
Had 3 massages on the boat. Thanks again, Uniworld!
Our boat, the River Royale, had a hair salon, fitness room, jacuzzi on top deck, massage suite, exercycles, bicycles on which a lady tore her knee ligament when she wiped out, and an internet cafe. They held afternoon teas, and had evening bar entertainment. Some of the enetertainment consisted of a silk painting demo, lectures on Van Gogh, Serge Gainsbourgh, French people. "We are French; we are complicated! We do not hug, but we do kiss twice or more on the cheeks. WE never smile."
We learned to use the pesky VOX boxes.

We toured Chateneuf de Papes, a truffles farm where a terrier named Lady was our heroine, Tournons, Viviers, Tains L'Hermitage, Lyon of course, Avignon, and the Pope's palace there, and Arles, where Van Gogh's every step was felt. We saw the Pont d'Avignon and the Pont du Gard. We toured the beautiful breathtakingly steep Les Baux. Home of fractured ankles.

I learned a few more words in French, (ie, bougie means candle) and tasted frog's legs, escargot, truffle foam, quail, and a few other oddities, all on our ship. Carlo was pleased with his vegetarian choices. The food on the ship was wonderful.
When it was over, the airports in Europe were all closed. Thanks, Icelandic Volcano. We were dropped off at Marseilles Airport, at a Hotel Etap. It was a Motel One equivalent, as it was five levels below a Motel 6.

I cannot say enough about how much I loathed dealing with Air France at the Marseilles Airport. Their desk was usually closed. When it was open, they still would not help you. That about sums it up. Crazy people were wandering around the airport muttering bitter things in foreign languages, but I could pick out the words "Air France."

The next morning, after having survived the bugs in our hotel room, the Uniworld lady rep showed up like an angel, offering to take us back to our boat for a free re-cruise, while we waited for our return flights a week hence. We fled gladly, and ended up repeating our trip, backwards, with extra wine. It was grand. Most grand of all was getting home.

Toujours, Uniworld! I will sing your praises forever for taking such good care of your charges. Thank you!

Patsie