Connor, Not to be Outdone

As liaison to the White House for the Pentagon, I would like to start a new protocol of compulsory naps at 11, 2 and 4. Pampers will be sold in the bathrooms, and  formula will be served in traditional, coffee-flavor, and chocolate in the Pentagon commissary.

Strict discipline will rain down upon those who make fun of my height-challenges. They will find that I am small but mighty.

Baby in chief,
Connor

Parker: The Man and The Machine!

Parker Climbs Aboard His Ride

Parker Looks Strangely Hungry!

Dear Imaginary Friends,

Somebody seems to be very hungry!
Your Imaginary Friend,

Patsie

Parker's New Toy

Parker rides 'em, cowboy, with his mom watching

The Rosy Spoonbill: Are Those Lips Real?

Dear Imaginary Zoo Goers,

AS the writer of a very influential blog, (cough) I send myself on writing assignments to interview the residents of many different locales.

This locale happens to be the Amazonia exhibit at the Washington National Zoo.

Me:  Hey, Rosy Spoonbill. Are those lips real?
RS:   No, actually, (giggle) they are from having my lips injected with collagen. I am auditioning for a role on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I see these kissers as my golden ticket.

Me:   Thought so. They look just like Taylor's on that show. You should fit right in. But I bet your lipstick expenses are a doozy.

Thus concludes another fascinating bird-brained interview.

Having a Moment, WIth Balance

November 2010

Dear Imaginary Friends,

This was my little grandbaby last year at this time, in his christening gown. He could not even sit up successfully. He kept listing to the left even when propped up.

Now he is a crazy monkey who feeds himself, takes cups, not bottles, runs and hides and grunts some primitive communications.

October 2011

Life rushes past us. Don't forget to look and really see.

Your Imaginary Friend,

Patsie

What Great Feet I Have!

And Look: There's Two of Them!

Bring Your Own Bottle

Dining at Aroma in Shirlington

A new trend in restaurants these days is Bring Your Own Bottle.

Is this what that means??

Your Confused Writer,

Patsie

Llamas Always Smile

The Llamas are chilling at Homestead Gardens. They are exotic, adorable, furry, and funny.

Our family visited them at Homestead Gardens back in October 2010, during pumpkin season. We rode a hayride to their barn. 

Homestead Gardens in Davidsonville, MD, has an excellent plant and decor selection.  You don't have to be a llama to like it there, but it helps.

Your Imaginary Friend,

Patsie

Cute Point Nine

Dear Imaginary Friends,

Who puts the cute in cuteness? Parker, here shown on the Lewes beach, shows off his hat. He is such a happy camper.

Your Imaginary Friend,

Patsie

Today's Blend of Humor and Instruction, and, You're Welcome!

A forward from my beloved Uncle Jerry:

"I had to look up "paraprosdokian".  Here is the definition:

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

----------------------

OK, so now enjoy!

1.  Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on my list.

3.  Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4.  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5.  We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6.  War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8.  Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career.  Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

15. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

16. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

  26. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

  27. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."

Double Cute

Parker and Virginia on Father's Day 2011

Booyah! I Am Getting Vertigo

Dear Imaginary Friends,

The Warden holding the Guilty Party

Now that my computer is fixed, I can once again concentrate on what really matters in life: Changing diapers.

Picture this, if you will: A nine-month old baby boy, spinning like the spin cycle of one's washing machine, in overdrive. If your washing machine smokes crack, then that would truly give you a better idea of the difficulty.

Picture a naked butt twisting against you as you lamely try to hold down the torso, while keeping the offending material from your direct contact, and then trying to attach a diaper, which truly takes two hands.

It is a whirling dervish of body products. And it is not pretty!

Not for the weak, the squeamish, or the easily dizzied.

Vertiginously yours,

Patsie

Cute Stuffings, Part 4

Here is our happy little visitor, whom we babysat for 5 days. He is playing on a blue and white blankie that was hand made for his mama 30 years ago. Tradition!

Love,

Patsie

Cute Stuffings at Seven Months

Parker Out- Cutes Himself, photo by Norm Hadad

Dear Imaginary Reader,

Here Parker seems to be showing off just how cute he is. I believe he is posing for Better Babies and Gardens, or International Baby Magazine. Not sure. Or Maybe Newsbaby, Harper's Baby, Conde Nast Travel and Baby, Saturday Evening Baby, Baby's Home Journal, the list goes on...

Your Imaginary Friend,

Patsie

Cute Lil Family

Cute stuffings. Nuff said.

Your Imaginary Doting Granny,

Patsie

Babysitting Cute Stuffings Last Night

Guess Who Came to Visit Last Night?

Dear Imaginary Friend,

Who is 

1.Very Cute 

2. Loves to be held 

3. Wears cow costumes bought by his coocoo for cocopuffs grandmother?

(Well, it is not the Queen of England, that's for sure!)
Parker, that's who! He is almost 6 months old, and he tries to sit up, with varying success. Hence the boo boos on his face.

He is chewing on everything, like a puppy, because his teeth are trying to cut through.

His eyes are turning hazel, and his hair is both brown and blond depending on where you look.

Don't you think that some of us are just made to wear cow outfits??

Your Imaginary Friend,

Patsie

My Tiny Lovebug: Cute Stuffings!

Parker Visits His Grandmother

This weekend, baby Parker came on over to his grandparents' house, He is so cute...